a perfect life !! 2

hey everyone !! its been a while since i wrote the first chapter but here i am with the second chapter. so review away. its not as long as the first chapter but i hope i did not run the story too fast !!

Brandon’s point of view:

The clock slowly blinked with its neon light which created a ghastly effect on the already shabby room.

The numbers 10.00 blinked dully on its screen. Outside an owl could be heard hooting in the distance. Probably stalking its prey during its hunting hours. The lights in the houses on Camille Street having long since dimmed, it was surprising to see one house that had apparently not followed the others.

Only one light was shining dully in the second floor creating a pool of light right underneath the window. Little insects could be seen attracted to the light creating shadowy figures on the pavement below. This is what he sat staring at. He was Brandon. Brandon Paul.

He sat on a high chair facing out of his window pointedly ignoring the overbearing figure of his girlfriend, Dina who sat on his bed looking as if she put a permanent pout on her mouth.

He held the slender cigar between his hands and carefully took in a long puff gasping between breaths. It was his first time and the smell and the feeling which touched the pit of his stomach seemed revolting to him. He wondered how it could be of pleasure to others which made him feel sick to the pit of his stomach.

Feeling the everlasting presence of Dina behind him he wondered how he could have ever liked her. There she sat little mighty princess always getting what she wished for, well he would have liked to drag her by her hair to the depths of poverty and enjoy seeing how she dealt with their everyday problems. Where would be her precious maids then to answer her beck and call?

A small smile played across his lips as he wonders how she would act and throw tantrums if she did not receive her luxuries

He thought back to when it had all started…………………

It was past 12 when he had been returning late from Larry’s house. He did not tell his parents that he had been drinking but the smell of alcohol drifted unpleasantly through his breath.

He told them that he was out studying but the truth was that he had not even touched his books for the past several months. They couldn’t be fooled. Countless reports from the teacher and the principal had been to no avail. Numerous parent teacher meetings, visits with the guidance counsellor had seemed to pass through one ear and out the other.

Finally they were convinced that their son could not hope to be someone great in life and as they had no choice, they left him to his own devices.

So back to that night. He had jumped in through the windows careful not to let the swishing of the curtains unmask his presence. He was so drunk that he failed to notice a light go on in his parent’s room, which if he was his normal self would have meant the ringing of alarm bells in his head.

A few minutes later he was still struggling to pass by the tables and chairs safely to his room without making much sound when he caught sight of his parents, slightly groggy looking, but with puzzled stern faces.

The shock of his parents standing before him and the horrible feeling in his stomach left him reeling on the ground. His head was starting to spin and a bitter taste in his mouth left him feeling light headed. He was starting to see things in twos and threes.

‘Mum?’ he reached out in a place where he thought was his mother’s third head

Feeling groggy he promptly fainted leaving his parents to stare in wonder at whom they could not believe was their son. How could their son, a boy and student brilliant in his studies fallen so low? Stooped so low, to reach out to the things like drinking as comforts.

His mother especially had been hit the hardest for she had seen many dreams and achievements that her son would achieve. Making him feel safe in a warm environment, giving him what he wished for, answering to the best of her abilities the questions which he would ask, looking after him, caring for him, then when did he turn like this.

She couldn’t even recognise him anymore. There was just a boy who bore little resemblance to her son. She would not accept the facts and chose to believe that in the midst of all these foul things was her son reaching out to her. Innocence on his face like a child who knows he has done wrong and is guiltily ashamed.

After that incident discussions had followed between his parents. Some of them very loud voiced which he could hear through his earphones. He couldn’t think of what they would be arguing about. A thought had crossed his mind, what if they were leaving? Panic struck him but him naturally intelligent mind pondered over the facts. He knew his mother was very attached to this house and she could not bear to leave this house.

Another thing he thought about was that his parents were breaking up. He had heard his mother’s shuddering sobs reaching softly out to him at the end of loud arguments reaching late into the night. He would find his father; lips pressed tight, reading under the light of a table lamp. It actually hurt him to watch his parent’s this way. Especially his mother to whom he was very close.

Without him knowing there had been more private conversations regarding his future between his parents and the principal.

‘He is a smart boy, but I don’t know what has come upon him,’ she had replied to his parent’s anxious questions.

‘He is very talented indeed but they are going to waste under the bad influences of the boys he hangs around with. My advice if you choose to take it would be to transfer him to a new school far away from Larry, and these boys, if your job allows it that is. But I whole heartedly think that would be the best choice.’

And so a decision was made that he would transfer to a new school in Brookston not more than 500 miles away. He would still be able to see his friends but not too often. Everybody thought that it would be the right decision. Everybody but him.

He had been told 2 weeks ago and he was furious about it. He had slammed the door and had wished from his heart that his parents go to hell. That night was when he had hooked up with Dina. He had stayed drunk the whole night and had slept overnight at Larry’s house.

It had also been his first kiss that night with Dina. She had called him too much of a virgin and had thrust herself at him. He had thought that the first kiss would make him feel special and different but to his surprise it was no more special than waking up to see his parent’s everyday. Which was not at all special and something to be happy about.

And here he was, the last night in this neibourhood. He had said sad goodbyes to his boys and had brought Dina home with him, her expecting a kiss every few minutes along the road. She had left him feeling annoyed and angered about the fact that they were even a couple now.

His last night in this town, in his bedroom. Happy and sad memories ran through his head sometimes bringing a smile or sometimes bringing a frown but those were the memories he cherished deeply in his heart.

That was when he was full of innocence, and knew not the ways of life and temptation. His parents being Christians and all were very well versed with the bible and lived according to its rules. But for him he had never really understood the importance of religion, otherwise if he had the thought of drinking or doing any of these things would have never have been an option. But he just didn’t know.

He did not know what to expect and if he would be able to cope with whatever was on his way for here was the place he was born in and had spent his childhood years. He had had happy memories all linking him to this place. It created a strong bond between his parents and him and also the whole neibourhood. He could go into any house in the neighbourhood and always feel welcome, as if it was his second family. How was he to know that soon he would be corrupted?

Night was passing soon and he was suddenly reminded of a certain someone behind him.

‘Baby, come here for a second,’ her voice rang out clearly; ‘I want to give you something. Trust me you’ll love it.’

He had two options in front of him, to ignore her or see what she was trying to show and try to catch some sleep. With some vigorous thinking in his head he decided that the latter option would be the best thing to do since his parents had already packed up and had gone to bed long before.

Reluctantly he got up and went to see was she was trying to give him. Her hands were perfectly slim and the skin tight top that she was wearing hinted that she had a flat stomach. Mascara, nail polish and all, heavily scented she sat in front of him like a goddess.

She gingerly held out a blonde lock of hair presented in mahogany polished box. He had never thought that she was the romantic one but took it as one of her values to be appreciated.

‘Thanks babe,’ he gently ran a finger along her neck and pulled her tightly in lip lock.

‘This is what I was waiting for all night,’ she managed to utter just as he was slowly inching his hands up her top.

This was something he could give her before he left and wholeheartedly wished he would never see her again. This was how he spent the night and somewhere along the night unknowingly drifted off into sleep. Tomorrow would never be the same again he just hoped that it would be for the better.

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gauravkundu32
Review

Hey budding writer! gauravkundu32 here to speak (I mean write) a few words...
First of all, hats off for your writing style. Regarding grammatical mistakes, well, I am not good at it so I'll leave that part. Now about descriptions, they are well written, dialogues are realistic and the background is well set. This won't be a good review, because I am not a good reviewer, but like I said your previous chapter I will try my best. You remind me of the stories of Neelesh Misra (I hope you know him), a well thought story and bang! The ending ah, I would always like to hear more. I do not understand why you have not continued your previous story as I was so curious to know about the reply Kylie was about to get... Anyway, this story is also better with less characters, but very clean and clear. I could not find any language error, so that is all I have got to say. You have a lot of potential so keep writing and be the best.
With Best Wishes
-gauravkundu32-

Nice, good structure to your characters. I like Brandon, though he seems dull. But hey, that might just be his style. I just like that he seems down to earth and realistic.

He is very talented indeed but they are going to waste under the bad influences of the boys he hangs around with. My advice if you choose to take it would be to transfer him to a new school far away from Larry, and these boys, if your job allows it that is. But I whole heartedly think that would be the best choice.’ [/i]
Haha. Very princepal - ish thing to say. Nice. Good story, don't hesitate I am here to help so if you need a review ANYTIME let me know. x



This is a house of homes, a sacred place, by human passion made divinely sweet.
— Alfred Joyce Kilmer